Unsoft's List

s i n c e r i t y

I don't watch much reality TV. Ok, I hardly watch any reality TV, unless you count Unsolved Mysteries. Robert Stack is a personal hero of mine because he manages to somehow keep it real even though his script contains no fewer than 3 repeated occurrences of the word "poignant" per show.

Survivor. Give me a break. What's the appeal of this show? Somebody educate me...This program has absolutely nothing to do with survival, and it makes precious little reflection of any element of the human condition. It's less "real" than the "Real World", for Pete's sake.

If I was creating a show which was called Survivor, and was being marketed to the viewing public as a show about human resourcefulness and endurance in the face of adversity, I would favor a format like this:

Contestants would be selected and dropped off in a remote wilderness location with the exact same supply package as everyone else. The only way a contestant could be eliminated from competition is by resignation or death. The last contestant in the competition wins the entire purse.

One component of the program most DEFINITELY NOT included in my proposed format would be formal group identity.

"Tribes", or any formal team selection of any kind would not exist. If alliances are formed and broken on their own, so be it. Strategy would be up to individual contestants. If a group of contestants decided to pool their resources and/or live in a communal arrangement, that would be their option. Conversely, if a contestant decided that isolation and toughing it out on their own was the best course to pursue, that would be fine too.

Extending this philosophy, contestants could decide whether to expend energy and resources making life uncomfortable for other contestants, thus choosing the path of conflict. In the end, it would be interesting to observe whether the "live and wait it out" mindset prevailed over the "make war and win quick" school of thought.

Another element of the program that would have no place in my conception is the formal event structure. As a matter of fact, the less "official contact", the better. There would be no rounding up of contestants to compete in retarded challenge competitions. If the idea is survival, then let the idea be the show. No crappy version of University Greek Week Olympics would be forced on the contestants, and no additional supplies, comforts, benefits, perks or bonuses would be made available to any contestant for any reason. If they didn't bring it, they can build it. If they can't improvise or do without, then they can quit.

That would be a program worthy of the name Survivor. The present incarnation is more aptly named "Retarded Junior High School Camp Out".

Then there's American Idol. For God's sakes, the ideal of an American entertainment idol isn't reflected in how precisely a performer can fit into a pigeon-hole stereotype. If anything, that might indicate a significant reserve of talent, and absolutely no freestanding direction or creativity with which to implement it. I refuse to believe that the ideal American entertainer is an automaton, so lacking in sincerity and vision that they might be easily programmed by experts in shoveling "product".

Watching Idol last year, I was somewhat encouraged by the notice taken of William Hung - the UC Berkley Civil Engineering student and ghastly performer who was struck down in preliminary auditions. Simon Cowel stopped his terrible rendition of Ricky Martin's She Bangs with the question "You can't sing, you can't dance, what do you want me to say?" Hung replied with dignity "I have given my best, and therefore have no regrets".

Evidence of Hung's 15 minutes still abounds in the media, and while the spectacle was a little disturbing, there is more value in it than a thousand seasons of Idol. He was the highlight of last year's "Worst Auditions" show and received audience questions at the end of the show. When asked how he was progressing through the UC Berkley engineering curriculum, he replied that he was struggling as an engineering student, as he seemed to be in so many of his ventures, but that it was important to continue to struggle, and to not give up, because it built the kind of character necessary to eventually suceed.

His sincerity and optimism make him the closest thing to an American Idol to have ever graced that shitty soundstage.